Familial Origins: Rewrite
by Masteria
Summary: Naruto learns who his parents are, only to discover they are from another universe, gets training from an old family friend and discovers a few new things along the way. Who is that blond girl and why is she staring at him like he's either a target or a piece of meat? Beta Wanted. Slightly over-powered oc-ness to certian characters.
1. He wakes and readjusts

I have decided to make my story "Familial Origins" In a fewer number of chapters that are longer in size and I will be revising it a little bit... Here it is...

Familial Origins

By Masteria

***Warning*:**This will be a slightly more powerful Naruto. There will be some fan-girl, sasuke and 3rd hokage bashing. I like him, but I he could've done better. He's the leader of the christ-forgotten village! This is your **ONLY** warning... don't complain later.

DBZ/Naruto cross-over

Naruto/Android 18 pairing

**Disclaimer:**

Naruto: WHAT THE HELL? WHY AM I HERE?!

Kakashi: Mah mah, Naruto. You don't need to yell.

Naruto: Ok ok, but that still doesn't answer the damn question.

Sakura: NARUTO YOU IDIOT! *smacks him over the head* We are here to do the disclaimer. It's one of our D-ranks for today.

Naruto: *Rubbing his head* Ouch Sakura, why do you hit so hard.

Sasuke, looking paranoid: Can we just do this already before THEY get here.

Naruto and Kakashi: **Masteria owns NOTHING of Naruto other than random merchandise availible in store... so shove it. *anime tears***

As soon as they are finished, a crowd of screaming girls burst through the door and at the sight, Kakashi shunshins out, Naruto turns into a cloud of smoke showing he was a kage-bunshin, Sakura fades, revealing her to be a genjutsu. This leaves Sasuke to watch, with ever growing eyes, his horde of fangirls. He only has time for one cry and his brain reverts to subconscious, "Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnn!" He then gets trampled and whatever else fan-girls do...

***shudder***

non-talking

"talking"

'thinking'

"YELLING"

"**Demon/murderous talking**"

'**Demon/murderous thinking**'

"**DEMON/MURDEROUS YELLING**"

-**JUTSU BEING CALLED OUT**-

Chapter 1

Entry, oh how painful.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" was the cry that rang out, much like every early morning. Those that happened to be awake ignored it like they did during the regular hours of the day. Most just went about their business as a little child nearly blurred while running past them, chased by several adults, "I WAS JUST SITTING BY A TREE, HOW IS THAT A CRIME?!"

The little boy was approximately five years old. No one could really tell how old he was, mainly due to the issue of his weight and height. He had been extremely malnourished and you could tell even through his clothes as they streched around his ribs. Blonde hair was scruffy and dirty, but the blonde still shone through. His bright ocean blue eyes precipitately searched for a spot to hide while he ran, taking turns and jumping over small boxes and carts to try and run. Eventually he took a wrong turn and ran directly into another crowd, all with the same murderous intent in their eyes.

"You need to be taught a lesson little DEMON!" Random villager A said, brandishing a rusty knife, "My family is DEAD because of you. I'm supposed to see YOU as a hero? Hell will freeze first."

The rest of the crowd agreed with him and shouted their support in various forms, all revealing some kind of weapon, though some were weirder than others. 'Who uses a carrot as a weapon?' was a random thought the boy had in pure curiousity. Once he realized the other crowd had caught up to this one, he started to panic. He couldn't run and he didn't know how to fight, so he did what any other five year old he had seen would do: He closed his eyes.

Pain. It never came. He heard a bit of shouting and opened his eyes. He was amazed at what he saw. Standing before him was the HOKAGE. He immediately stood up and bowed, having it been drilled into his head to at least bow to the leader of the village once when he met him. Then he looked up hearing his name. The hokage knew his name?! That just seemed unlikely. He squinted his eyes in disbelief. "I asked if you are ok, Naruto. Are you?" The Hokage asked again with patience. Hiruzen Sarutobi, an old man of his sixities, liver spots on his face and paper-white hair, he wore the hokage hat and robes. Everything that passed under his gaze was observed and stored for later use.

An anbu appeared at his side and awaited orders. He turned to the ANBU, keeping an eye on Naruto at the same time and said, "I want you to clean up here. I will take Naruto to my office to find out what happened here." He started walking towards the boy, who began backing up.

"How do I know you are who you say you are, Ojīchan. You could be using one of those blend-y things "your" ninja use to trick me." Naruto said while he backed away from the hokage. Once the hokage stopped, he stopped, "It's happened before. I will go to the Hokage's office by myself. I know the way. Been there many times already." The hokage nodded and made his way towards his office. At this, Naruto began running to the Tower as well. He arrived just as the Hokage was entering. He warily made his way inside only to find the Hokage had vanished. Left, right, up, down, behind him he looked. It didn't make sense. The last thing he remebered before the black came was, 'Ow... why do I feel pain. Nothing's hurting me.'

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. That was the noise he woke up to. He quickly looked around for ANYTHING familiar. Finding nothing, he quickly pulled at all the string-like things attached to him, vaguely remembering that they are called " " he realized he might be in the hospital, it didn't help that ALL the walls and floor and even the ceiling was that same BLINDING white. Once he was out of the bed the machine began making one long version of the BEEPs he had heard earlier. He ran over to his regular clothes, which had been folded, earning him a scoff. After getting dressed he made his way silently to the window and was about to open it when he heard, "NARUTO! GET BACK IN THAT BED THIS INSTANT!" His head turned to look at the source, only for his eyes to squint again. It was the HOKAGE, again.

"I was tricked once befo-oof!" Naruto began but was cut short by a quick shove from an ANBU. He arrived on the bed, by sheer luck he thought, and was subject to the HOKAGES hard glare. "You told me you would meet me at the Tower. I come to find you asleep in a field. Is that how you treat your word?"

"I HEADED FOR THE TOWER Ojīchan! YOU WENT IN THE BUILDING AND DISAPPEARED! I WAS SEARCHING FOR YOU-" He stopped short at a hand from the hokage.

Nodding his head, the Hokage dismissed the visable ANBU from the room. Turning back to Naruto he sighed, took a secretive drag from his oak pipe, looking around for a nurse, and began his explination, "That would explain why your mind was not quite reading the same as someone who is asleep. Naruto, you have been in a coma-inducing genjutsu. We tried to get you out of it, but not even a mind-walker could enter you mind. Kami herself must've brought you back to us."

'**Not Kami, but I guess it would do...**'A voice in the back of Naruto's mind chuckled. He quickly looked around for the source only to hear, '**I'm in your head Kit. I've been fixing a few things while you were in a coma. We will talk later, ok? Pay attention, the Hokage is still awaiting your response. Also, don't mention me at all. You'll understand later.**'

Naruto gulped, nodded and said, "I guess that works Ojīchan, although I have a question or two." At a nod and gesture from the Third, he continued, "My first question more like two. How long was I out and when was I put in?" Pausing, he looked into Hiruzen's eyes and waited.

Sighing, Sarutobi took a another puff and let it out. Taking a deep breath he started, "You didn't wake up on the morning of your 3rd birthday. When I was called, I saw that you were in a coma and immediately ordered all the tests neccesary to determine what was wrong. The care you had been given wasn't what its supposed to be. Do you remember that one doctor with brown hair?" At Naruto's nod, he resumed speaking, "He was tied up once he objected to the lack of your health. Once I was informed what he had done, I immediately promoted him to head of the hospital and fired four of the five doctors that hadn't done anything. The one I didn't fire turned out to be a spy and I had him sent to Ibiki. You are nearing your ninth birthday. You have been asleep for five and a half years Naruto. You will need a small amount of time to get used to an older body. Does that answer your question?"

Nodding rapidly, Naruto was astounded he had paid attention through the whole thing. He was just about to ask a question when the deep voice popped up and said, '**Ask him why your body is better than it should be. It intrigues me.**' Complying, he repeated the voice's question, making sure to add, "That's not my final question though."

Chuckling the Hokage rapped his pipe into his hand and blew it into the air just as the door opened, letting a young-looking woman with black hair in. She immediately bowed and said, "Apologies for the interruption Hokage-Sama. I was just coming to check up on Uzumaki here." The Hokage nodded and waved her forward.

"Who is this Ojīchan?" Naruto asked, wary of the newcomer. He looked her up and down, noticing that she was kinda cute, in that older sister kind of way. She stood about five and a half feet tall and looked slender for her height, "Is she going to hurt me like everyone else?"

Shocked, the woman immediately bowed to Naruto and hurriedly said, "I apologize for the actions of the previous doctors and anyone who has come to harm you. I give you my solemn vow that I shall not harm you unless you are going to cause harm to others without cause." Staying bowed, she waited for Naruto's response.

The hokage saw the embarrassed look on Naruto's face and quickly spoke up, "Naruto, this is Shizune, Tsunade's apprentice and Aide. Tsunade is the one who called me in when you were three. They pop by once or twice a year to check in and see how you are doing. Both of them are really worried about you. They have also defended you in full, at the council and in the marketplace no less."

Naruto then smiled, laughed and said, "Man... I'm sorry I doubted you. I guess I'm not used to trusting people yet. Get up, um... Shizune-chan?" He held out his arm and continued, "Do whatever you need to do. Just be careful with any needles."

Lightly chuckling with mirth at his fear of needles, she stood up straight and produced a blood pressure and pulse kit. Taking his vitals she wrote things down, speaking once she was finished, "Alright Naruto. You are in perfect condition, considering you were in a coma for a few years. I need to show these findings to the head doctor, let Tsunade know you are awake and make a report on something I saw on my way here. I suggest you stay overnight and check out in the morning. Just to make sure you don't laspe into another coma, ok Naruto-kun?"

Naruto nodded, internally grateful that she didn't stick any needles in him and blushed when she used the -kun suffix. Once she was almost out the door he relaxed. His first mistake. She whipped around and a needle imbedded itself into the bed next to him with a note on it. She then proceeded out the door, ignoring a chuckling Hiruzen.

Stuck to the ceiling, Naruto was shaking like the village he planned on representing. Falling back to the bed after she left, he gingerly took the needle and took off the note, reading aloud, "You will eventually get over your fear, Naruto-kun. Oh, is it alright if I consider you my little brother?" Naruto made a mental note to give shizune a hug for that and was about to continue to read when the door burst off the hinges startling him enough to cause his adrenline-filled body to flip over the bed and hide behind it on pure instinct, even noticing that Hiruzen was completely unfazed.

In walked a woman who looked around the hokage's age, she stood a little taller than five rulers tall and looked a little heavier than Shizune. She yelled out, "Where is the brat and WHY IS A BED FLIPPED OVER?!"

After a bit of observation, Naruto noticed she had been drinking a little bit, which caused him to ask, "Hey Ojīchan, who's the bāchan?" He immediately had to duck a random chair that looked like a school desk and heard a loud, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD GAKI?!" Hiruzen had a look of intrigue on his face and spoke, "Tsunade sit down and calm down. Naruto, how did you know she was older?" He waited patiently for Naruto to flip the bed back over and sit down.

He looked at Tsunade, looked at Hiruzen and swallowed. He said, "She has wrinkles. Like you. How is that hard to see?" Tsunade was stricken with shock. Hiruzen chuckled.

"Naruto, Tsunade has a genjutsu on to look like she did in her mid to late twenties. The fact that you don't see it makes me think that genjutsu doesn't work on you. Maybe we can test that once you are comfortable with someone enough to trust them?" After gaining a nod from Naruto he asked, "Do you have any more questions for me?"

Naruto shook his head no, but when Hiruzen got up to leave he quickly said, "Wait... Please don't go just yet. She scares me. Bring back Shizune or someone calmer, or less drunk." This earned a harsh glare from Tsunade, but he maintained his pleading look at the old man, plucking his heart strings like david with a harp.

Hiruzen sighed and nodded. He signaled an anbu into appearance and said, "I want you to fine me Iruka Umino. He should just be finishing classes. Bring him to me." After the anbu left, he sat down and said, "He will be here shortly, until then I will stay. I just remembered I never answered your question about you body." He gestures towards the sannin before continuing, "She is the one who kept you in such fine condition, so you should really ask her."

Gulping again, He lightly looked at the woman sitting next to the Hokage and asked, "Hey bāchan, What did you do to me?" Tick marks slowly appeared on the older woman's face, Hiruzen scooted his chair a bit to the side while attempting to hide a laugh and failing miserably. When it was to much for her, she leaned over and punched the Hokage in the arm and said, "DEAD ARM YOU OLD FART." Immediately smiling again and said, "Quit calling me that brat. It's bad for your health." She chuckled when she heard Hiruzen mumble about silly little girls gaining too much strength then continued, "All I did was use my chakra to keep your muscles from atrophing and made sure you got the food you should be eating."

Satisfied with the answer, he nodded and was about to ask a potentially dangerous question when the head doctor walked in, "Ahh, I was informed you were awake. I am also aware that Shizune did your check up, but I would like to do a more extensive one. Would you please the room Hokage? You as well Tsunade? I apologize, but it really is about-"

Hiruzen cut him off, "I won't leave unless Naruto feels safe around you. He's just woken up from a paranoia-inducing coma." At the nod from the doctor he turned and asked, "Do you remember him? Also, does he make you feel uncomfortable at all?"

Naruto, feeling anxious at the thought of being alone in a room with someone, shook it off and said, "I need to be able to get over it, Ojīchan. If not now, then when? Maybe you or bāchan could stay outside the room? It shouldn't take more than a half-hour, right?"

When the doctor was done, he let Tsunade know that Naruto had fallen asleep and she could see him one last time but that she was advised to be quiet. Iruka was with her then and they both went in. She quickly wrote a note, 'Naruto, I came in like you asked. You were asleep. I will be here in the morning to check you out. I will try to be less "drunk" as you put it. I hope you sleep well gaki.'

Iruka smiled. He looked so cute asleep like that. He looked nothing like the fox. Maybe, just maybe he wasn't the fox like everyone made him out to be. He would find out in the morning. He wrote a small note, "Naruto. My name is Iruka Umino. I look forward to meeting you in person. Hopefully you are a good student." After both notes were placed on the bedtable, both ninja left the room, closing the door and missing the smile that naruto had on his face.

"**KIT**" was all he heard when Naruto regained what he thought was consciousness. He found himself floating in sewer water, face down. That didn't bother him so much. What caught his attention is the ability to BREATHE said sewer water that had him standing immediately and freaking out.

When he finally calmed down, he began to pay attention and look around, noticing it wasn't ANYTHING like Konoha's sewers, he began to walk around, instinctly following a small red trail of nearly invisible energy. While he was gathering details and wandering the halls, he noticed that the water began to get less deep near a door. He headed towards the door, still not aware that the red trail had been leading him here the whole time.

"**I see you have 'found' me KIT. Do you know where you are?**" A giant rumbling voice sounded out, catching Naruto off guard. He looked around for the voice and noticed the gargantuan bars on one side of the room. Naruto looked up and spied a door latch in the middle of said barred gate and saw a seal on it. He squinted to read it and was surprised when it jumped closer, causing the gate to get smaller.

"**HEY! WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING SMALL ONE!**" The voice roared in panic, "**DON'T JUST SHRINK STUFF WITHOUT WARNING!** **Hold on a second and I'll come out.**"

Getting into a stance, Naruto warily watches the gate, only to have to cover his eyes as a bright flash of red, then and even brighter flash of white and a, "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!" is heard.

'What the hell is going on in there?' Naruto thought for a moment before looking over, eyes bulging wide with surprise. He immediately bowed to the man with bright blonde hair. The other, younger man immediately scowls. He says, "**Will you stop your idiotic bowing?! He and I have some explaining to do. First things first, would you kindly...**"

Both blondes shout, "FUCK YOU STEINMAN?!"(1) earning a raised eyebrow from the remaining person. They look at each other and say in perfect sync, "Quit copying me. NO YOU QUIT COPYING ME! DAMN IT! STOP! YOU WANT A..."  
The young man appeared next to them and bashed them over the head and shouted, "**WOULD YOU TWO DUMBASSES KNOCK IT OFF!**" He walked over, created a chair out of nothing and continued, "**Please make this place less disgusting. It's YOUR mind, you control what goes on here, most of the time.**"

Said blondes were rubbing their heads. Naruto stood up and looked around, closing his eyes and imagined a wide clearing, surrounded by trees. Off in the distance was his favorite view of the village, right on top of the Fourth hokage's head. He opened his eyes to see that the things he had imagined were, to the tiniest detail, now in his mind.

Enjoying the sights, he is brought from his mind's wanderings by a voice, "Um... I know this is unusual, but I thought you and I could talk for a bit." Turning to the voice, he remembers who it belongs to and bows once again.

"Ho...Hokage-sama! What are you doing in my mind? I know you "defeated" the Kyuubi no Kitsune, but why place yourself in here with him?" He mentioned, causing the older blonde to gape and the younger man to smirk, "What? Is it that hard to go to the library and look up the seal? It's not hidden or anything. Whenever I wasn't running from a mob, I was either reading in the library, or scrounging for food."

The blonde, now know as "Hokage-sama" bowed his head when he heard of the some of the things Naruto had to deal with. He looked up and, taking a deep breath, started out, "Naruto. I'm going to tell you the REASON I picked you as the container of the Kyuubi. It needed to be a newborn baby. There were a few others, but you were special. You, Naruto, are my SON." He looked at Naruto, waiting for the information to sink in.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Was all Naruto got to scream before he passed out. His mind had processed the information, but since he was a young boy, the excitement, and lack of a healthy body was too much for him.

-SEVERAL HOURS LATER-

"Ugh... What hit... OH SHIT!" Naruto woke up groggily, then shot up, whipping his head around, slowing when he became dizzy, then walked over to where his father sat, on his own head(2). He sat down next to the older blonde. He looked up at him and said, "I will forgive you, if you tell me why you thought I was a better choice. That and I get to spar with you once Kyuubi thinks I'm ready."

Minato Namikaze, a man of kindness to his friends and family. His bright yellow locks radiated energy and his eyes were a deep blue. He looked to his son with a smile half-way across his face. His eyes showed hints of sadness. He breathed deep and whispered, "I wasn't about to force some other family to part with their child. Your mother was supposed to survive. Things happened that were out of my control. I wasn't prepared for what happened and you were the best choice. I honestly hope you forgive me, but I know I don't deserve it."

Naruto stood up, and walked a step towards the forest, leaned over and punched his father in the cheek, "That was for fucking up my life and this, " He said hugging his father tightly and crying, "was for making my dreams come true."

Clearing his throat, Kyuubi made his presence known and said as lightly as he could, "**I apologize for the intrusion into this family moment, but I feel we are running short on time. We have about an hour or so left and we need to hammer out a training schedule. I was thinking that I have the first half of the week and you get the second... What?**" The Kyuubi had stopped short and confusion had passed along his face when he noticed the father and son looking at him like he was crazy.

Naruto chuckled, "Sorry... Its just... I didn't expect... the Kyuubi... to train me..." He then burst into full blown laughter, followed shortly by his father. A growl came from Kyuubi and he walked away, destroying a few trees that just replaced themselves. They both finished laughing a few minutes later and joined a mildly annoyed Kyuubi. Finally, everyone was seated and calm, aside from the occasional snicker from Naruto.

They sat there and hashed out a training schedule. Kyuubi, who had revealed his name was in fact, Shishou o Sentaita no Hokitsune(3). When they found this out, another round of laughing was had and this time it was silenced by two well aimed punches to the groin. So now there were two sets of snickers immediately followed by two sets of whimpers.

"**Wimps.**" Was all Shishou said, chuckling himself now. They finished up with how much weight Naruto would use and what fighting styles he could learn from them. All said and done, Naruto envied the other kids his age. They wouldn't be training as much. He accidentally voiced this aloud and got twin smacks to the back of his head, "**BAKA**/BAKA! You will have to defend yourself AND them eventually... who will be more important?" Causing Naruto to realize that all he had to do was use some of his "free" time against their will... He needed some FUN!

-THE NEXT MORNING, THE OUTSIDE WORLD-

Thankfully, no beeping was heard. Although there was a light snoring on the bed next to him. He woke up completely and stared, wide eyed and nervous, at the strange lady asleep with her head on the bed. He didn't want to wake her up, yet to get to the nurse button he had to move and that would wake her up. Eventually he sat up, checking to see if the lady stirred. When she didn't move, he reached for the nurse button. His hand stopped short and he found his wrist held by the lady.

"Gaki, I'm not a threat. Get over youself. I'm your new sensei, or at least I am when you aren't dealing with the academy brats. I will help you get your skills up to snuff, assuming they aren't already. Then I shall continue to train you until you either bore me, or your Jonin sensei is determined... the second one being four years from now." Said lady spat out as fast as she could, yet still articulated quite well, despite being asleep moments ago. She looked around and continued, "I'm going to let your arm go. My name is Anko. I have a letter from the Hokage for you so that you know I'm safe. Ok? Just don't push the damn button. Those nurses hate us both and to see us in the same room without "supervision" would make them too edgy."

Naruto nodded his head and when Anko let his wrist go he brought it in front of her in the open palm 'gimme' expression. She placed the envelope into his hand and he opened it immediately, reading it to himself. He rubbed his head from the smack over the head Anko gave him with a, "read it out loud, stupid gaki!"

"Dear Naruto, I am sorry, but I figured you would want someone who you could trust. However I feel that this woman, Anko, could suit you better. She is VERY skilled in person to person interactions, as well as taijutsu.

Your other teachers that I have asked to help you are Maito Gai, a taijutsu specialist, Yuuhi Kurenai, a genjutsu specialist, Hatake Kakashi, a ninjutsu specialist and one of two kenjutsu specialists. You might be asking yourself how you can train this much in a week filled with academy classes? We will talk about it later when you are feeling better. Probably a day or two after you are dismissed, if the rumors about Anko's rehabilitation training are anything to go on.

I wish you well and a good recovery,

The Third Hokage."

Naruto looked up to see a shit eating grin on Anko's face. It was the type of grin he would get when planning a prank. He smirked and asked, "Prank time?" He got his release papers shoved at him, which he signed, and all you could see on Anko's face was an even wider, if possible, grin.

When the Third entered into the lobby, he was barely able to move out of the way in time for two blurs, one tan and the other a mix of orange and blue, to rush past heading in the direction of Training Ground Fourty-four. He checked the papers that had appeared on the desk in front of him, turned around and slowly made his way in the same direction the blurs had headed.

Arriving at their destination Anko shouted out, "Listen up, Gaki! The plan is to prank all the clans, deface the Hokage Mountian and even get the Third. I will do half of the Clans. The rest is up to you. Are you sure you can do it? We have 3 months before you are stuck in that academy. I think that's the right amount of time. What say you?"

Naruto was just about to answer when the Third showed up and said, "I'd think carefully about it. I know that you plan to prank me, so how are you going to do it?"

This prompted Naruto to smile his biggest honest smile yet and shout, "RIGHT UNDER YOU DAMN NOSE YOU OLD PERVERTED GEEZER!" They both disappeared in a bundle of snakes, showing them to be snake-clones(4). Hiruzen nodded at this and left, chuckling the whole time. When he got to the base of the Tower, his mind clicked in. He raced all the way to the top, surprising a few elder council members that didn't know he still had it, and rushed to his desk. He did the secret handsign that only he and one other person knew, opened the hidden drawer and...

"NAAAAAARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO!" Could be heard ALL across fire country. People in the far reaches and even the capital wondered who was yelling, why they were mad and what this Naruto had done. Meanwhile INSIDE the Forest of Death, Naruto and Anko were busting up laughing. Anko had taken them to her home as a show of trust, making sure to aim a kunai at his manhood to let him know how serious she was about being screwed over.

Once they settled down, she asked, "How? How did you get this from him?" snickering with the thoughts of the blackmail she could get on the old man. She eyed the, in her mind hideous orange, book and reached for it only for it to disappear. Naruto looked at her and smiled.

"My capture, my spoils. Isn't that your pranking rules, Anko-_SENSEI_?" Naruto smirked, "I feigned sleep whenever the old fart would have whoever 'Jiraiya' is over. They did this secret handsign thingy one time. Boy am I glad I learned it now. This was PERFECT timing. Hmm... I think I'm going to ask for 10 jutsu from the forbidden scroll, which is rightfully mine anyway.. ask the Hokage, I'm not allowed to tell why. He'll haggle and I'll get him down to around 5 or 6, which is what I want anyway."

Anko smiled, inwardly she was gawking at the interpersonal knowledge this kid had soaked up from reading the three books she had chucked at him. Apparently this kid was a sponge. It also helped that he had divuldged that the Kyuu-, no, Shishou was really a nice guy and had, according to what she had been told, tricked by a pale man who smelled heavily of snakes and another who had red-ish eyes and smelled VERY old and VERY familiar. When she came out of her thoughts, Naruto was nose to nose with her, causing her to blush and shove him away shouting, "PERVERT!" even though she knew it wasn't true, it was instinct and she immediately regretted her words.

Naruto was hurt. He was just trying to make sure his new pranking friend was ok. He was about to stand up and run when, "Naruto WAIT! I didn't mean it. I don't respond well to men getting in my face like that. It's instinct. I apologize. Next time it won't happen, ok?" He looked into Anko's eyes to see a rare hurt. He nodded, swallowing his tears and asked, "Hey, can I call you Anko-neechan? Your just the type of person I would've wanted in a older sister... hehe"

Anko wore her shock outwardly this time. Her, an aneechan? She shook her head to clear her mind and looked at Naruto's renewed hurt expression and, looking away, quietly said, "Naruto... Why do you think I would do you any good as anything other than a sensei? I'm..."

"YOU'RE NOT WORTHLESS" Anko heard and looked up and saw a rather angry looking Naruto glaring at her in a way that showed he cared, "YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING MY NEECHAN AND THAT'S FINAL! Now can I please stay here so I don't have to run from the mobs?" The sudden change in voice tone threw her off a bit, but she looked at the calendar and gasped. It was THAT DAY. She had TOTALLY forgot her new students birthday, true they had only been student and teacher for a day, but she had been preparing for this for YEARS and she forgot his "back-pay" presents in the closet.

"Naruto. If you want to stay with me you must do three things. The first one is sit down on the floor and the second one is to close your eyes and not open them until I say so, ok?" Naruto nodded and did as she bade, curiously she noticed that he looked cute when he was eager. Silently rushing into her bedroom, she tore open the closet and grabbed 6 wrapped presents and quickly yet quietly ran back into the room to see an excited and bouncing Naruto. She gently set them down and said, "The third thing you must do is promise to open and USE each and every one of these gifts. If you promise, you may open your eyes. If not, then I want you to lie on your back..."

He immediately open his eyes, which flooded with tears of joy. He jumped up and gave Anko a HUGE hug, jumping up and down with her in his grip, "THANK YOU!THANK YOU!THANK YOU!..." Was all he said, over and over. Once she got him to calm down, she explained that these were for the birthdays she missed while he was in dreamland. Tears flew from his eyes when he heard that. He hadn't EVER gotten a birthday gift from ANYONE and now he was getting SIX?! This was just too much. He passed out from the sheer overwhelming emotions(5).

She picked him up and set him in the bed she had already picked out and gotten ready, changing him into a set of pajamas with different ramen ingredients on them. She tucked him in and kissed his forehead saying, "Good night Gaki, sleep well."

Naruto awoke the next morning and realized that, yet again, he was in an unfamiliar situation. He sat up and was immediately pinned back to the bed by snakes. He looked around for his attacker and spotted Anko crouching against the wall. Immediately he calmed down and shot her an expectant look, which upon receiving, she released the snakes, causing smoke to fill the room.

"What the hell is your problem gaki?! How the hell do you expect to be a ninja if you can't handle waking up in unfamiliar beds?" Anko asked upset out of concern, "I know what you are going through. Not to the same extent, but Kurenai had to put me in a similar Genjutsu due to a very close betrayal I had. I almost didn't come out of it. It was only when I realized it was fake that I was allowed out. That took 6 months. So the first thing I will teach you, along with your mental tutor and other teachers is to memorize every detail around you, it'll become second nature."

Taking all she had to say in, he nodded and opened his mouth, closing it for a moment to think. When he was done thinking he said, "When do I start? Also, I never got to open my presents." He clapped his hands once to show he was ready for the day and got some new clothes thrown over his face. Prying the clothing off his face, he noticed that they weren't his usual attire. He looked up at Anko and asked, "What gives? Where's my crappy jumpsuit? What's with the new clothes? Why do they have a snake-like human and a fox-like human on the back?"

Anko smiled affectionately and said, "It's our family album. Notice that a needle is in each of their mouths. It's Shizune's mark. She came to me and asked to be included. We both paid for it. The owner of the shop asked two things. Would you like to hear them?" At Narutos nod, she continued, "One is that we shop there for ALL our clothing needs, as he is GLAD to have you shop there and the second is that we go to their sister store, conveniently located next door, for all our ninja gear. I checked out the store and it's not bad. They have some decent quality tools. I would recommend checking both stores out, especially if we add anyone to our family. That would include: brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, godparents, grandparents, even significant others. Eventually it will be a more universal symbol probably based off you, but that's down the road."

Naruto smiled, nodded and jumped on the bed, waving Anko out of the room so he could change. Once she left, he scrutinized the clothing in greater detail, accidentally channeling chakra to his hands to get a better grip. He felt the clothes drain the chakra out of his hand. Grinning he put them on and found they slowly drained him of chakra, storing them in five matching symbols on each sleeve. Once all ten were full it stopped draining. Laughing, he ran out of the room to the living room and gave Anko a hug.

Raising an eyebrow, Anko silently asked what was going on and Naruto was happy to oblige, "I got some really awesome neat clothes, two neechans, some awesome RAMEN pajamas, a place to live, some presents to open and all the training I could ask for! I'm super happy. It's the first birthday I ever had that wasn't filled with pain, torture and bad things involving bad places." He stands up and bows, "Thank you Anko-neechan for your hospitality!" Then he disappeared around the corner, found his old clothes and set to making a make-shift flak jacket out of them.

Anko, slightly concerned that he is overloaded with emotion and trying to hide his crying, headed for his room only to find the door shut and a sticky note on it. Said note read, "Anko, please don't ruin the surprise. I'm making a thank you gift. Your otouto, Naruto." This made her smile and walk to the kitchen to make pancakes, with peanut butter and extra syrup(6)

Once Naruto was done, he made sure to check for holes or any other form of mistake, corrected them, and then folded it up. He left his bedroom, took down the sticky note and carried it into the kitchen where he heard Anko humming.(7) He set the jacket down next to her and said, "Surprise! It's a home-made flak jacket. I washed my old clothes, and stitched them to make this for you since I know it must be expensive for you to buy stuff for me."

Anko smiled, wiped a lone tear from her eye and gave Naruto a hug. She rose up to look it over, and seeing no mistakes asked, "Naruto. How did you get so good at sewing?"

His lone reply was heard from the table in front of the plate decorated in ramen shapes(8), "You learn to sew good and fast when on the run from mobs like I was. When I'm allowed to take my time I make WAY less mistakes then I do on the run." He stared at his plate when he was done and traced the shapes with his finger.

Frowning and focusing on the pancakes, she thought back to when she had to run from groups of people. It wasn't as long, but the similarities were uncanny. Now she knew why the Hokage picked her for this. Once done with the pancakes, she set them, the syrup and the peanut butter on the table, grabbed a couple pancakes and dressed them the way she liked it. Beckoning, she said, "Go ahead and eat, gaki. I made it for you because you didn't get a birthday breakfast. It's not normally something I make, so enjoy."

They both dug in and enjoyed the meal.

-**Meanwhile, in an unknown location**-

A dark shape walked in and sat down at a table, still in a darkened room. He waited for his master. After waiting for a while he impatiently tapped the table.

"I see you have yet to master your patience, young prince. Perhaps I should send you back to your home dimension?" Another voice asked with mild amusement, noticing the panicked look on the darkened face, "Don't worry. You don't have to leave yet. I just want you to do something for me. Employ yourself as a test subject for..."

Said prince shot up and shouted at the darkness, "Why?! Why should I do anything you ask without an explanation or payment?" He sat back down against his will. He glared around looking for his master, shocked to find him small, and on the table.

"I am using a genjutsu. It is one of the many powers this dimension has to offer. I use it because I don't trust you. You are an impatient young warrior who wants to destroy all who oppose him. That's why when this genjutsu is released, you will go to the one I have directed, be experimented on, survive and come back to me, ready to do my bidding once more."

-**Back in Konoha, in the Hokage's Office**-

"Hatake Kakashi, Might Gai, Yuuhi Kurenai, Gekkou Hayate, and I, Nara Shikaku, reporting as ordered, sir," said one of five jounin, each one nodding to their name, standing at attention in front of Hiruzen Sarutobi. He had ordered them here to tell them of a secondary mission that would take up more of their free time.

"Ahh, puntucal for once. What is the occasion Kakashi?" Sarutobi snickered out, much to the dismay of the jounin present, "Joking aside, I called you all here to explain your Important mission. You all will be teaching a very promising student. Do not worry. This will not take away from your own potential students or any missions. If anything you may leave a water clone(9) to write instructions for him to follow during a training session. Details will be explained during the time you meet him. Any questions?"

Kurenai, Gai, and Kakashi all raised their hands, looking at each other, blushing and then conceded to Kurenai who asked, "Who is the shinobi we will be training?" She effectively lowered Gai and Kakashi's hand with that one question. Hiruzen merely looked to Shikaku and waved his hand.

The lazy man groaned lightly and said, "It's normally too troublesome to answer, but we are training Naruto Uzumaki. He is a special case and that will be explained IN MORE DETAIL later once we meet him..."

The old Hokage sighed and started speaking where the Nara had trailed off, "If that is all, you are dismissed." He waved his hand and signaled all the jounin to leave. Once they had all gone from the room, he took out his pipe and began smoking, thinking, 'If only Naruto hadn't taken ALL of the books.'

-**Naruto and Anko's apartment in the Forest of Death**-

Naruto sneezed and Anko tickled him saying, "Somebody is thinking of you." She then jumped to the ceiling, barely dodging his flying tackle. He ended up face first into the table. After they fixed the table, they went to the training ground.

"Alright Gaki, today we will work on some light taijutsu." Anko shouted from the forest floor as she got into a stance. Naruto leapt from the apartment's porch and into the bush, ready for whatever Anko shoved his way.

**CRACK! SNAP! THUD! HISS!**

Naruto landed on the forest floor and was immediately beaten and bruised by several fists, tied to a tree by snakes, then sent through a tree, breaking it. He barely managed to get up before he was tied to another tree by even MORE snakes and then smashed through by a brutal kick. This cycle was repeated for hours, slowly but surely increasing his pain tolerance.

"Get up gaki!" Anko shouted when he refused to move from his face-down position on the ground, "I know you aren't unconscious and you have three more hours of pain tolerance training to go."

Sighing, the blond ninja-in-training stood up. Squaring his shoulders, he got into the stance he had taught himself and prepared for Anko to come at him. Instead of her charging, what happened was her slowly walking towards him, hand to her chin in a thinking posture.

"Very well done. Not bad for a half-assed wanna-be's attempt to intimidate a mouse." Anko said with a sneer, "What'd you do, watch a cartoon and copy that?"

Naruto stood up, getting out of his stance and glared hard at her. She was insulting him? Why? He charged her recklessly and ended up tied to a tree, once again. He found himself nose to nose with her. He blinked once, twice and a third time before he started struggling to get out of the binds. **BLAM!** Another tree was broken. He skidded on the ground, having landed this time. He stood up, immediately back in his make-shift stance with a resolve not to let her get to him.

Immediately upon him, Anko swept low with her right leg, twisting her hip so that when he jumped she would be ready to snap him in the stomach with her left. He jumped just as she predicted, but what she didn't expect was him gripping her left ankle and using it to throw her towards a tree. He lightly chuckled as he jumped underneath her arc and kicked at her back, sending her straight up in the air, "Is that all you got _Anko-sensei_? I thought you were a tokubetsu-jonin? Wouldn't that mean you aren't supposed to fall for my-" Was all he got out before the Anko he had kicked into the air disappeared and in her place was more snakes.

A sandal covered foot was planted into his face seconds later and the snakes from her silent **Snake Clone** tied him to a tree. She clapped her hands slowly as her feet took her closer to the trapped Naruto with each step, "I'm proud of you gaki. You actually got a few blows in. You let it get to your head though, which is why you are tied to a tree for the fourth time in an hour. I really think you need to work on your emotional issues. First you get paranoid, then over-eager, followed by arrogance. If I hadn't looked at your medical file, I'd swear you were a girl."

Naruto struggled for a while, trying uselessly to get out of the snakes tight grip. He slowly lost the energy to move and looked into Anko's eyes with a smirk. Suddenly there was no more Naruto. Instead of a body being squeezed against a tree, it was a log.

***FLASHBACK***

Anko tossed a scroll to Naruto, who effortlessly caught it, and said, "What that scroll contains is the three basic academy jutsu. Technically you aren't supposed to even learn one until your first year in the academy is already over, but they have SERIOUSLY lowered the standards since I went through there. In order to help you learn them, I will teach you the hand signs and rate your progress for an hour before we begin the rest of your training."

A few hours later he STILL hadn't been able to produce even ONE good bunshin. Anko sighed and showed him a single handsign. He raised his eyebrow curiously and copied it. He asked, "What is this for neechan?"

"Its for a special type of Bunshin. Just pump as much chakra as you can without exhausting yourself and we will see if you can even make one." She smirked, taunting him lightly.

Complying with gusto, he pumped as much chakra as he felt, aside from what he needed to stay on his feet. With a immense poof of smoke, five hundred fifty-five Kage-bunshins popped into existance, all shouting, "COOL!" once the smoke had cleared.

Floored by the sight AND the simultaneous shouting, Anko jumped to her feet and asked him to dispel all but ten, one at a time. After the first few had been dispelled, he noticed that he gained memories of having different perspective and had a few of them go off into the forest to prove his theory. He jumped for joy and said, "Hey Anko-sensei, did you know that the memories of these 'special' clones of yours are remembered by the original?"

Anko's jaw hit the ground. He was an IDIOT and yet he was a GENIUS. She collected herself and shouted, "YOU IDIOT! HURRY UP!" Turning around, she hid her embarrassment at having been shown up like that. She didn't even know that, but then again she was the hated "snake mistress" of Konoha. She quickly shook that from her thoughts and turned around to find an all-out brawl with one of the Narutos standing off to the side. She went over to that one and asked, "What's going on here?"

"Boss couldn't figure out how to dispel us quickly, so he's having me and a few others watch the rest get in a fight. Five are in the trees and two others are with me in a triangle formation for the best view." The clone answered promptly, clearly afraid of her reaction.

"Why are you afraid of me when the original isn't?" Anko asked with pure curiousity taking over. She was only able to make one and it had the EXACT same personality as her, which after a while got boring.

The Naruto Clone shrugged, "I dunno. I'm more perceptive to fear I've found, three of the ones in the tree are more susceptible to rage, laziness and lust. We have yet to find the others, but it'll be a while." He thought for a moment and added, "Found blood lust and the war-hungry one. They are teamed up in the brawl right... there." He pointed out two of the twenty remaining that were slightly seperate from the others.

Anko watched on and said, "When this is over, tell the brat to create three groups of ten clones each that are to practice. Group one is to practice Henge. Group two is to practice Kawarimi. Group three is to practice creating and dispelling Kage Bunshin, which is the name of this clone type. Also: Don't tell anyone you have this ability until we have informed the Hokage. Understood? I will be waiting in a random clearing every fifteen minutes for a sparring session." She finished what she had to say and left.

***END FLASHBACK***

'Damn brat, he just HAD to finish learning them. Here I thought the Kage bunshin would've lasted longer. Oh well, it won't stop me.' Anko thought to herself and, sensing his energy signature, began her pursuit of him. She chuckled, 'Good thing I haven't taught him to supress his chakra sig-' She froze on the nearest branch and extended her senses as far as she could. Panicking she cried out, "Where are you Naruto? I need you to come out now! We still have to find the- OH SHIT!"

Naruto clones came from everywhere. Up, down, left, right, in front, behind and every other direction. Knowing she was in for a beating, she crouched into a stance and proceeded to take as many as she could before eventually she was overwhelmed by sheer numbers. Smirking when he walked into the clearing she had been tackled to, he asked, "Is that good enough for you neechan? You taught me that and I was instructed by my other two sensei to make an additional two groups of ten. One was for something secret that I can't tell you yet and the other was for teaching me to suppress my presence, not just my chakra."

Anko, having caught her breath, jumped up and swung a careless right, slightly enraged at being caught off-guard and mostly trying to see if he had learned anything in their spars. He caught her wrist, flipped her over him and punched her in the ribs. Shaking his head he got into a stance, ready for her real attack to produce itself. When she simply got into a sitting position, he relaxed and sat in front of her. They had a lot to talk about, mainly what his internal teachers would be teaching him.

**-Hokage Tower. The Next Morning-**

Looking him up and down, Hiruzen nodded and said, "Well done Anko. He seems to be back to his more lively self. I believe you beat your old record. "

Naruto looked up at Anko, eager to get two things he wanted to say out of the way, for a signal. When she noticed his gaze, she sighed lightly and nodded. He jumped up in one of the chairs and with gutso and volume shouts, "I know where your orange pervert books are AND the dreaded paperworks weakness. I will give them to you for 20 jutsu from the Forbidden Scroll."

Hiruzen gaped while Anko merely snickered. Had nobody really ever thought of the secret before? Shaking her head she listened to Naruto and Hiruzen haggle out the price.

"Five."Hiruzen insisted.

"Eighteen."Naruto budged.

"Ten."Hiruzen suggested.

"Fifteen."Naruto relented.

"Twelve." Hiruzen offered.

"Thirteen or no deal."Naruto said with a finality that suggested a fatal ending to the orange books. Nodding, he and the Hokage extended their hands, only for Anko to chip in, "In writing." Causing Naruto to rescind his hand. The Hokage frowned, his plan almost working only to fail at the last second. He wrote out a scroll and signed it, handing it to Naruto, not expecting him to read it over. Shocked he asked, "What are you doing Naruto?"

The simplest answer was, "Reading it over." This shocked even Anko who was appalled at the lack of trust. When she went to question him on it he cut her off with, "It's not to unreasonable, he IS the God of Shinobi as well as he just tried to trick me with the handshake."

Smiling proudly, she accepted the logical reasoning, and when he was done and had signed it, rubbed his head a little before saying , "We would like to see that scroll now."

Naruto corrected her, "Actually Anko-sensei, only I get to see the Jutsu. I may teach YOU once I have mastered a jutsu. However I will keep half of the books until I get the final jutsu, as per the rules stated in the surprisingly prewritten contract."

All three people in the room nodded. Hiruzen started drooling a bit at the thought of beating that damn paperwork and asked, "As a favor, can I learn my immortal enemies weakness now instead of later?" Naruto noded, made a Kage bunshin and asked, "What is this?"

"A Kage bunshin," was the stereo answer he got.

Chuckling at the reaction he thought he would get, "What are the properties?"

Hiruzen spoke up, "Producing one takes half your chakra, so they are very dangerous. The best feature about them is that they retain the memor...AUGH!" He cut off, opened up a drawer, rifled through some papers, came to an envelope that was sealed with a rather intricate looking seal. Pulling out the envelope and channeling chakra, it opened. Inside was a letter that he read aloud, "Old man, I'm either alive and you still haven't given me the job yet, or dead and you took the job back. I don't think its the first because you wouldn't need this letter by now. I'm guessing you figured out the weakness, that or someone finally took kindness on your senile mind. Well, your punishment shall be self inflicted. Channel chakra into your forehead and slam your head into the circle on the back of this paper one-hundred times. If you do not, a seal that YOU designed will activate, transferring any money you gain personally into my account, which will be not able to be transferred anywhere else except by the owner of my account, which is probably my son by now. Have fun! Namikaze Minato"

Anko and Naruto burst into laughter seeing the famous God of Shinobi slam his head into his desk. What made it even more hilarious was that each time his chakra-filled head hit the paper, The Hokage Mountain's version of him said, "Stupid." No one in the leaf village was able to hold in their laughter at the sight.

**-Meanwhile, in the shadow-man's room-**

Emotionless, a young women entered the room. She looked around and sat down, immediately seeming to disappear. When she reappeared she seemed unfazed. A small chuckle was let out and sounded to be coming from everywhere. Looking right where it came from a man spoke, "It seems the rumors were true. I cannot affect you with any form of genjutsu. I know ninjutsu would work against you but I am not here to fight you. All I ask is that you do what I say. I won't ask anything unreasonable and will reward you handsomely."

Nodding, she said, "That is what I was sent for. What is my first task?" Cold hard killer, that was the vibe he got. He passed her a scroll and she got up, leaving her earring as a way to keep tabs on her. Once gone, he laughed. For no reason at all he said to the shadows, "Soon I shall be God, right?"

**-Back in Konoha, at Ichiraku Ramen-**

"GULP!" Naruto finished his thirty-second bowl, finding out about his father before meeting Hiruzen and seeing the look on his face had been priceless. Anko was a bit shocked when she learned that he was related to the Fourth, but wasn't all to surprised considering he DID look like him and he WAS the container for Shishou. That was another thing that bugged Hiruzen when he found out, but it was easily smoothed over, "**BELCH!** Man, Ayame-nee. That was some good ramen! I need to come here more often."

Anko smacked him over the head. She then paid her bill, for the one bowl she had, got up and said, "I'm going home gaki. Make a friend or two and then meet me there before eight." The flap of the ramen stand swung behind her when Naruto looked up to talk to her.

"Naruto-kun, I think she smacked you because you didn't remember your manners after burping." Ayame smiled sweetly while she admonished naruto with ladle in hand, "Next time say, 'Excuse me.' and you might not get hit. Then again she might just do it anyway."

Naruto nodded. Paid twice what he owed and left before she could even start to count shouting, "Think of it as a gift for supporting me when I was a little kid." She couldn't believe her eyes. He had just single-handedly become their highest-paying customer. She instantly was at the picture frame for the 'contest' that no one tried for anymore. The previous holder was the Fourth Hokage with a record breaking fourty-five bowls. Naruto had paid for the equivalent of sixty-four bowls. She took the picture of Naruto she had in her pocket and closed shop for the day. She had a photo to get copied and framed.

**-At the Park, a few minutes later-**

Naruto, feeling like lounging, went to a hill he saw a boy laying on and sat next to the tree, away from the seemingly sleeping boy. He started nodding off when he heard a, "Do you want to look at clouds with me and my semi-conscious friend?" Opening his eyes, he looked for the source of the sight and found it to be a new arrival. Sitting next to the lazy boy was a fa-I mean pleasantly plump boy eating a bag of chips and looking eagerly in his direction, "We always are looking for more friends that aren't too judgemental. My semi-conscious friend pointed you out and suggested I ask. Do you want to?"

Nodding he stood up, slowly walking over to them. When he was close enough he stopped and said, "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. What's yours?"

"Akamichi Choji. The lazy one is..."

"Shikimaru Nara. I'm awake now. The name intrigued me. I'm sorry I interrupted, Choji." Said lazy boy had his eyes open and was slightly staring at Naruto, "Go ahead and sit or lay on the hill. It doesn't hurt and is quite comfortable. Do you mind if I ask what your I.Q. is?"

Naruto shook his head while sitting down on the opposite side of Choji. He replied, "I don't even know what that is. I'm not quite in school yet and I have another couple of months before I'm entered into the academy."

Sighing, Shikamaru dropped the subject and they idly chatted for a while. Naruto, using the sun for a guide noticed, after a few hours, that it was time for him to go home. He said, "I can come here once or twice a week. Do you come here often?"

Choji, still munching on chips, let out an affirming grunt and Shikamaru said, "Every single day. We are relishing the last few free days we have. We start the academy at the same time as you. Maybe we will be in the same class."

Heading home, Naruto waved good-bye. He hoped he made some good friends for the future.

**AN: **

**1)If you don't know what this is a reference to, then you wouldn't get it and it's too lengthy to explain properly.**

**2)I thought this would be humorous. The fourth, sitting on his own head.**

**3)Your very handy ex-beta reader translated this into Japanese properly for you, it means Master Chosen Firefox**

**4)I read this in a fanfiction. I just can't remember the name of it. I've read so many lol.**

**5)I have yet to think up a list of the six presents she got him. I'll flashback to it in a MUCH later chapter when they are actually used...**

**6)This is how I like my pancakes, also I didn't know what else to put for breakfast, I will make different ones in later chapters.**

**7)Her mask drops when she isn't around anyone else that she doesn't want to see, mainly Naruto and Kurenai and ONLY in her apartment, which has Genjutsu-affected windows.**

**8)I couldn't imagine him as a gardener, so Ramen shall be the main theme... that and I'm planning on making it kinda-important later on.**

**9)Just because its in FIRE country doesn't mean they didn't get different clone types from POWs during one of the wars or something. Seriously.**

**And that is the end of Chapter 1. What do you think? I really need that beta reader as I don't know if I'm missing grammer or spelling. Also: Some translation help would be nice as well. Also, **


	2. He gets stronger, little by little

Darkness fills the viewing room and the audience screams until a deep bass voice says, "**SILENCE PUNY MORTALS! YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE KYUUBI NO YOKO!**"

At this, everyone begins laughing, causing the giant fox to roar loudly and ask, **WHAT IS SO FUNNY! I SHOULD KILL...**"

Me: Shishou, they are still getting over your name... It's still funny *snicker*

Naruto: Seriously, who the hell named you?

Me: HEY! Watch your mouth puny OC naruto, I made you and can destroy you!

Everyone but me looks at me with chibi bodies, scared: Don't erase us bro!

Me:*nods* Now, someone say the disclaimer, I'm too angry to do it right...

Sakura: What the hell am I doing here, I'm not in the story yet! Ugh... Masteria does not own Naruto, Dragon ball GT or DBZ abridged. If he did, I wouldn't be here.

non-talking

"talking"

'thinking'

"YELLING"

"**Demon/murderous talking**"

'**Demon/murderous thinking**'

"**DEMON/MURDEROUS YELLING**"

-**JUTSU BEING CALLED OUT**-

Chapter 5

Time has passed. Where are they now?

Naruto was just getting home from his afternoon off with Shikamaru and Choji. He had been training with Anko nearly non-stop for the first month and he ended up in the hospital when it had been figured out he only been sleeping every other night. For the second month, he and Anko trained the first half of the week, the second half was given to Shishou and Minato for some internal training as well as studying.

Shikamaru and Choji, much to Shikamaru's dismay, joined Naruto every once in a while for training with Anko. Anko, being smarter than to just random offer training to a couple of clan heirs, had them go and ask their parents first. They returned a hour or so later with not only confirmation, but written notes on what they can and cannot do as far as skills go.

The Hokage, at the beginning of the academy year, gave his usual speech. When he was done and the after-party that usually occured was done and over with his legs carried him over to Anko's apartment. Knocking, Hiruzen patiently waited until he heard, "Anko! STOP THAT! ITS NOT PROPER! I'M TOO YOUNG FOR YOU!"

Bursting the door down, he made a mental note to replace it and, noticed that both Naruto and Anko were sitting in chairs looking at the door with snickering faces and a bowl of popcorn resting on a small table between them. Turning red with embarassment, he slowly turned around and closed the door as best he could. When he was facing them once again he found the two tall chairs gone to be replaced with a table and them kneeling on one side of with, sipping tea with expectant looks on their faces.

"Well?" Anko said with a hint of impatience. "Why did you bust down my door Hokage-sama, and what may I help you with." Naruto's face was the perfect poker face, not a hint of information was revealed.

Sarutobi sat down, sighing at having been pranked to that degree. He looked up at them and, taking in a breath, spoke aloud, "I apologize for not coming sooner, but even with the paperwork being less of a bother..." Naruto finally broke into laughter at this while the older of the two males continued, "I have also had to talk to the council about what went on and lets just say that there won't be a civilian council anymore. I have also discovered that, despite my warnings, Danzo has continued something I told him not to.(1) He is currently being interviewed by Ibiki, and I no longer have a lack of control over the city. I made Teuchi(2), of Ichiraku Ramen, head of the civilian council. This wasn't a gift to him, as I have been observing his diplomacy skills each meeting, and when something mattered to him he knew how to best get it. He earned it."

Anko waited until he was finished his sentence before quickly asking, "I'm sorry for interrupting sir, but what does this have to do with Naruto and I?" She and Naruto, who had finished laughing, both shared similar looks of confusion.

Chuckling, the aged man shook his head and answered, "My apologies you two, it seems my age is starting to catch up with me. I was rambling there for a bit. It does pertain to you as now the attacks on Naruto will lessen slightly, but what I came here to tell you is that starting tomorrow, Naruto will be spending his days in the academy. This will leave you, Anko, with nothing to do. I have a mission I'd like you to undertake that I will speak with you about later this evening in my office. What I want to ask is if you both would like to continue training, not just for Naruto, but for you as well."

Anko was floored. She was finally being offered an opportunity to train to better her skills. A look of excitement was plastered on her face as she shook her head up and down saying, "Yes. I will gladly, despite whatever mission you'll have me do, accept this training." Naruto's face was equally estatic, but there was no explination there. The boy loved to train.

Thinking back on it, Anko could remember a time when she had applied for the rank of Jonin. She had all the skills, which had fallen into bad habits since then, but at the time she and a few select people on the council knew that she was only being denied for her relation to **HIM**.(3) Shaking her head, she asked, "What kind of training and where will it be?"

Sarutobi waited for both the other people in the room to calm down, which caused Anko to smack Naruto over the back of the head to get him to settle. All that he did once the room was still was say, "Take my hand. We will discuss this more in my office." Nodding once they did and found themselves standing in his office.

A chuckle escaped his lips while they both ran to opposite corners and hurled. When they were in their seats he made a few hand signs, causing the room to glow green and said, "There. Now we can discuss things in private, like HOW IN THE HELL YOU LEARNED KAGE BUNSHIN!" His face had quite a few tick marks on it.

Anko was sweating until Naruto spoke up and asked, "Do you remember the night both you and that Jiraiya guy were making the seal for your hidden drawer?" After the Third nodded he continued, "Well, when you left the room, I looked in the scroll that you put there as a test. I did the handseal, grabbed the scroll and it had a bunch of jutsu on it. I saw the one that said "Kage bunshin" allowed the user to have multiple versions of me around in different places so I copied it down. I didn't learn it until I showed it to Anko-sensei, who showed me how to do it when I couldn't do regular bunshin. I spent hours trying to do ONE bunshin jiji."

Noticing Anko's relief, he commented on it and Naruto sighed answering for her, "She taught it to me without your permission, but I take full responsibility as I was practically begging her to fix my bunshin problem."

Nodding he moved on, "Well, then next thing I want to know is: how you are progressing on those jutsu you aquired from the scroll. That way I can tell the teachers at the academy as well as the jounin you and Anko will be training under during the academy."

Anko beat Naruto to the punch by asking, "Who will be the jounin we are training under?" This earned a glare from Naruto, but was missed when his face went back to blank.

Extending his hand once again, Hiruzen uses to teleport them deep into the Forest of Death. They appear in front of a very well hidden and easily missed hole in a very tall tree. Looking around, he reaches into the hole and seemingly turns something until hearing a click. Hearing a rumbling the trio look to see a rock splitting in half and moving apart from each other, along with a few trees on either side moving through the dirt.

**-Over with the recruiting Shadow Person-**

The door bursts open, revealing two burly men carrying a struggling man dressed in an orange gi with strangely shaped hair.(4) He was thrown onto the table, unaware of how the ropes the held him down could do so. He thought to himself, "They look like ordinary rope."

A man walked into the light from the shadows, wearing a lab coat with an angular red rectangle on it(5) and, upon recognition, the orange-garbed man began struggling harder in anger until he heard a, "It won't work, no matter what you use. That rope was designed specifically to hold YOU." The same man leaned over and squinted. He the stood up and walked back into the shadows without a word.

Suddenly a deep, garbled voice bellowed out, "**You shall do as I say without question. If you do not, your son shall be killed on the spot**." When the incorporeal voice finished, a tv screen showing his son in the same situation as he was making the struggling man cease with widened eyes. He bowed his head in defeat when the man he had recognized appeared on the screen with a very familiar sword and said, "Yes, your rival is in a similar position. Thankfully we didn't have to do anything to him or his family, we only had to tell him he could get enough power to finally defeat you."

"**You will follow the next man to enter the room and do as he says until you are contacted again. He will be informed of our wishes and you will return soon. Do not even think about disobeying, or you will need to make a new son.**" The deep voice informed him before laughing hard.

**-In the hallway-**

After walking for hours, Naruto starts to look tired and asked, "When are we getting there. I'm tired from my nap earlier today and we've been walking for hours, Jiji."

A short snort from Hiruzen which was disguised as a cough and he replied, "We are already here. We have been for hours." He stepped to the side and they watched as he stayed in place even though they were walking. This upset both Naruto and Anko to the point that they followed suit then immediately sat down while yelling at the Hokage.

"**My my, such impolite behavior towards yourself Monkey-chan. Do they always act like this?**" A slightly deep, yet light voice commented with a small amount of mirth, "**I assume the only reason you allow it is because they are special to you and it could be refreshing from all that stiff and formal way of respect you get most of the time, eh**?"

Bowing slightly, earning a shocked expression from the two subordinates, the elder of the three looked up with respect in his eyes and a hint of a mischevious tone, answered, "Yes it is, Dende. Although I have to wonder if you should be out of bed, being so old and all. Shouldn't you be close to retirement by now?"

This got laughter between the oldest two members of the group. Dende(6) asked, "**Have they been told or am I doing the explaining **_**AGAIN**_**?**" barely hiding his dislike for the topic.

Hiruzen, serious once again replied, "I told you the first time and I will tell you again. I will not risk the words spilling from my mouth for fear of a tracking jutsu being placed on my tongue. That, and it's comical to see their reactions when you tell people."

This earned a slight growl from the elder of the two speaking and more confusion on the younger members of the quartet. When the silence was almost too much Naruto spoke up, "So... Tell us what exactly?" Which earned him a slap from Anko and a hiss to show more respect.

Hearing slow and careful footsteps, both of them got into a tense stance and waited for the person to enter the small amout of light. They waited, and waited, each single step raising the tension to nearly unbearable levels. Anko and Naruto looked at each other for a single second, nodding to each other that they would be ready for anything that showed itself in the light.

"**That is who I am and why I came to be here.**" Dende finished after a few hours of his story. "**Mr. Popo was here before me and before his old master KAMI.**" He looked at the two newcomers and waited for their reaction. He chuckled when Naruto's face still looked like he was trying to process the information despite that he had explained it well enough for a small child to understand.

Looking up, Naruto asked, "So you're from the stars. You have the ability to heal or banish. You guide the WHOLE planet.."Hiruzen made to stop Naruto from the slowly darkening line of thinking but Dende waved his hand, saying it was fine. "BUT YOU COULDN'T EVEN SAVE ME?! OR MY PARENTS?! WHAT KIND OF 'GUARDIAN' ARE YOU?! HUH?"

After He finished his rant, he went to one of the trees that were on the complex they were in, walked to the higher branches and sat down. He started meditating. Anko went to him and sat next to him, knowing that despite the destruction he was causing in his own mind he would need someone to talk to afterwards.

When it looked like Naruto had fallen asleep, Anko went to pick up and felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up in surprise to see a man-like alien that had pure black skin, read lips and unblinking white eyes. This caused Anko to get up to try and attack the new threat. When she found herself on her back a small ways away, she blinked and was going to rise back up when she heard, "**Mr. Popo is only doing what he's told. He was told to bring the boy to the training chamber. You are asked to follow Mr. Popo as he will show you the way.**"

Shaking her head, she follows him back into the building they were in. While they walked, Anko noted several ways that they could shortened their trip by what seemed to be a simple walkway. When she voiced this Mr Popo replied, "**Those don't lead where you think they do. Not even Mr. Popo or Dende-sama has explored them yet.**"

**-Back with Hiruzen and Dende-**

Dende sighed and shook his head, gesturing for Mr. Popo to follow them, only to realize he had already done so. Looking at the Third he said, "**Do not worry about the young boy. He merely needed a place to direct his anger that he had over the last few years. You and his other teachers will give him one for a while. However it will be constructive and used to train him. This is the ONLY reason I have removed the limit on THE ROOM. It was also adjusted to take a half hour to pass one year, this is because I no longer found the need for such a speedy exit. I will also be requiring you all to use the AGING room to reduce your deaging that you gain from it. Be warned not to stay in there too long as you might reduce your age further than you wish.**"

Hiruzen nodded and asked, "I assume there are instructions on the wall there?" Getting a nod he continued, "Then everything should be fine. Now, if we are finished, I shall call his teachers here." Summoning an Anbu, he pulled out a scroll, quickly writing down some instructions before handing it to the ninja in front of him. Said ninja vanished silently with a bow, heading off to hand the instructions to the appropriate person.

Dende nodded at the efficiency of the forces under Hiruzen's command. Gesturing to the younger old man, He begins the long walk to meet up with Mr. Popo and the two younglings.

**-With Mr. Popo and Anko-**

Naruto had since woken up and freaked out at being carried by a strange creature. Mr. Popo tried to calm him down which only made things worse. After a small amount of chaos and Havoc, Anko finally took control by bashing him over the head and telling him to get a grip. They then made there way with Naruto walking as far away from "the creepy black guy" by keeping his "nee-chan" inbetween them, although this didn't keep him from stealing glances and shooting glares past her.

They had traveled for quite some time, making Anko wonder how BIG this place actually WAS. She was about to ask how much further when Mr. Popo stopped in front of a door and sat against the wall beside it. Naruto plopped down on the opposite side, Anko sitting closer to the door in order to make sure nothing happened. They talked silently about his feelings and why he had the outburst earlier. Mr. Popo occasionally asked a question politely just to make sure he understood, otherwise he stayed out of the conversation as it was mostly private.

Looking up after a while, Mr. Popo noticed the two older men gently making their way closer and seemingly appeared in a straight and upright position at full attention. This caused Anko to look where he was facing and stand up, gesturing for Naruto to do the same. Naruto did so, but immediately relaxed into a more aggresive standing posture when he saw the older of the two beings. He spat out, "Oh. Here to do some more GUARDING or are you actually going to do something USEFUL?"

Hiruzen said, "That was uncalled for. He cannot interfere in the world. He has Defenders for each region he protects. It just so happened that the Defender was my student's student." He paused to give some time for the information to sink in. When he noticed that Naruto was paying attention, although seemingly less he said, "The defender died protecting our village. I regret not being able to help him. He was a good man. In this room is a different dimension. Time flows much faster there. We will be able to live 3 years in 15 minutes in this room. We can't have the council knowing about this so after we leave the room, Mr. Popo will be directing us to what is called a 'deaging room'. What it does it puts your body at the physical age you want to be based on how long you stay in there. Instructions are in the room and don't worry Naruto, "He had seen Naruto about to object at a loss of age and skill, "You don't lose anything you've gained in the room. Now, we shall enter once your teachers have arrive."

**-In Naruto's Favorite Ramen shop-**

Kakashi Hatake, a man of burdens, sits in his soon-to-be part-time student's favorite eatery. He was a quiet man, often preferring to read a book, which always had the same cover. Not everyone knew that he didn't read porn, but no one bothered to look at the words. It was part of the deal he had worked out with his teachers teacher. He didn't have to continously read the same few books, but he DID have to replace the cover so people would think he was. To him, the surprising thing is how often people DID judge a book by it's cover.

When he was actually standing at full height, something only seen by the top Anbu or Jounin, Hatake was a man of decent height for a ninja. Officially he stood five foot, eleven and a half inches tall. To all his friends, he was, "six foot." His hair was silver and seemed to stick straight up, except for a tiny amount near the front that some said was his inner child trying to rebel. Only one eye was visible as the other was covered by his Hiate and the rest of his face was covered by a mask. All in all, Kakashi was mysterious, silent ninja. A danger to his enemies, a boon to his friends.

"KAKASHI MY ETERNAL RIVAL! I CHALLENGE YOU TO AN EATING CONTEST!" A boisterous voice shouted from outside the stall. Mere moments later the same voice came from right next to him, "THE FIRST ONE TO ONE HUNDRED BOWLS IS THE WINNER! IF I DO-" He would have continued except a very deadly and painful ladel hit him over the head.

Ayame stood next to the man, still managing to be behind the counter as well, which kakashi found slightly odd for a civilian, but at a look and a covert sign from the one behind the counter, he knew not to question it. When the man who apparently knew Kakashi recovered, he now knew to at least keep his voice down a little and asked, "Well? What do you say Kakashi?"

Thinking it over, he looked at Ayame and asked, "Is that rule the fourth had here still availible?" Hearing a question directed at her, she looked up, Causing her short brown hair to flow from her face. Nodding quietly and returning to her work, He looked back over to his eternal rival, Guy Might. Guy stood an inch or so above Kakashi and wore a green jumpsuit(7). He had a green jonin on over it and his black hair was styled as a bowl cut.

Said horribly dressed man was on his knees, had pulled the look of a kicked puppy and a slight whimpering could be heard. Hatake nodded, quickly adding, "But the loser has to pay the tab as per the Fourths rule."

The fourth had come this stand and challenged a lot of people. Since some fights were started because of the loser or even the winner feeling cheated out of something or the other, He established that in the event of an eating contest, said food pavilion would offer the loser a temporary tab, allowing them to pay it off over time. If you didn't pay in a timely fashion of one month per payment, you were forced, by the current Hokage no less, to help Ayame and her father run the shop for a small amount of time. People who forgot to pay their tab more than three times were not allowed to use the rule. The winner, however, got to yell and shout and brag for a maximum of five mins. If you went over the time limit for gloating. You were temporarily banned from the resturant for six months. Break the time limit more than three times as a shinobi or kunoichi and you were banned for six YEARS, the limit for civilians being six.

Having their first bowl placed in front of them at the same time, Ayame began the counting, "One! TWO! THREE! HAJIME!" Hatake and Might dug in with gusto, completely ignoring the three shinobi that walked in. Kurenai Yuuhi was, by most civilian accounts and quite a few male shinobi's opinion a beautiful woman. Long black hair flowed to the middle of her back while her vibrant red eyes showed a hint of disgust at the sight, which changed to amused acceptance when she saw who was at the counter. Taking a seat one space away from Kakashi, keeping Guy as far away as possible, she gave them a slight wave before ordering a small bowl of miso.

A lazy sigh was heard on the opposite side of them, two seats away from Guy. Said man had his black hair styled back into a rising short rat tail. Most would say it made him, and the rest of his family that had the same hairstyle look like a group of pinapples, though only few could get away with it to his face. He was a little shorter than the rest of the group, however he made up for any of that by his, and his families intelligence. Nara Shikaku is the current clan head of the Nara Clan. They are known for their manipulation of shadows, their unusually high intelligence and their medicinal herbs made from deer antlers.

The final shinobi sat furthest away from them all, near the entrance of the establishment. He wore a sword and was quiet. He silently ordered a bowl of ramen. Currently he wore a hood to cover his appearance as he didn't feel very social but was here to wait for orders. The others knew how he felt and respected his space. They also knew that most couldn't fight toe to toe with him when he brought out his sword so there was a small amount of fear there.

Just as Guy finished his bowl and was about to shout that he had won when he noticed a relaxed Kakashi sitting next to him with the bowls already being taken away. He then whisper-shouted, "I ADMIT DEFEAT!" When he relaxed to let his stomach digest his voice settled down and said, "Were it not for our orders to wait here and recieve further instructions, I would run one hundred laps around konoha on one hand. If I could not do that I would backflip fifty laps..."

He was cut off by an Anbu appearing just outside and tossing five scrolls to each of the Jounin sitting around the booth and then disappearing again. Each opened their scroll, nodded and shushined to their individual homes to pack. Ayame was going to grumble but noticed that all the shinobi had paid for what they ordered. Guy had even paid for both his AND Kakashi's bill, like the rules stated.

**-Back at the door with Naruto and crew-**

Hiruzen patiently waited next to Dende. Anko was slightly irritable and Naruto was pacing in anger and impatience. This was slowly raising the tension in the hallway. It got to its peak when Anko stood up and got into a stance, sensing people approaching. She relaxed when she recognized the chakra signatures and grabbed Naruto in time for Five shinobi to blur right by them and kneel down in front of the Hokage. They, in unison, shouted, "SIR!" and waited for orders.

He waved his hand slightly, signalling them to stand and with his other hand told Anko and Naruto to come stand next to him. He said to the now standing shinobi, "This is your fellow teacher Anko and her student Naruto. All of us, including the green man behind us, will be heading into the room next door. I want you to make a water and have it stand outside the door while you go inside."

Naruto looked confused until Anko noticed, showed him the signs and had him do the jutsu. He did it once and was suprised how easy it was to create just one. He followed the others into the room as Hiruzen had said and saw a glimpse of 'Kami' with his hands out, pointed at the now grouped water-clones. He even managed to notice that there was one of the alien as well as the Hokage.

Once everyone was inside the room Dende spoke, "**I thank you all for your patience. I regret that I won't be staying with you for quite some time, but I will join you eventually to help train the boy in his heritage.** "He saw Naruto brighten up but decided to cut his outburst out, "**No I will not tell you that. Hiruzen either should have already told you that, or those two in your head will do so. Unless the they forgot, in which case you simply need to blackmail Hiruzen or give 'them' the cold shoulder until they respond.**"

Naruto slightly pouted, but still nodded his head. He wanted answers and was going to get them, but part of him just wanted to be told.

Dende then went on to repeat who he was to the other teachers, seeing as how they were all a little cautious. Answering any questions they had if he could, everybody seemed to be settled. When he went to leave, Naruto shook his head and said, "It took me a few minutes, but once I calmed down, I was able to think about what you could and couldn't have done to help me. I thank you for offering for me to be able to train here, and I apologize for my rude behavior earlier." After Dende nods in acceptance he sees something that slightly shocks him and causes everyone else to look at Naruto slack-jawed. Naruto had bowed deeply to Dende, something he never had done before.(8) Dende bowed back to an equal depth and they both rose at the same time.

Naruto waved at Mr. Popo when Dende closed the door and immediately turned around to find seven shocked shinobi. He looked at them all for a little while, taking the orange book from the silver haired shinobi and a few other random items from the rest before going back to his original spot and shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU ALL GAWKING AT?!"

This got them all out of their stupor only to find them searching their persons for missing items. Kakashi was panicking, Guy was sweating, Anko was fuming at Naruto, Shikaku was going on about how is wife would kill him and "How troublesome that would be." Hiruzen was mimicing Kakashi only whispering, "Not again, I can't be in his debt again." Kurenai had caught were Anko was looking and was glaring similarly and the swordsman was holding out his hand, palm face up in a motion of 'Give me that back.'

Rubbing his head, he smiled and said, "You all are already training me, I figured I would get some blackmail material from you while you were stunned. I will give you these things back, but you don't want me to do that here because its something you don't want the other shinobi to know about. Except you Kaka-sensei." This got a look from Kakashi and caused the others to look at him.

Kakashi shook his head and drawled out, "Naruto... Did you have to rat me out? Fine. What do you want for my book back?" This earned a chuckle from Hiruzen and a snicker from Naruto. Naruto's snickers turned into full blown laughter when he saw the look of resignation on the rest of the ninja's faces. Naruto was a known prankster and they knew he would tell the others what he had taken.

One by one they made arrangements to give Naruto what he wanted. From Kakashi he got to take a picture of his face for later blackmail. The swordsman promised upon his honor that he would make or buy him a sword of great quality. Anko promised she would let him sign the snake summoning contract if he could find a way to sign two or more.(9) Kurenai was blushing when she agreed to teach Naruto about the finer points of sexual education.(10) Guy offered the jumpsuit to wear. Naruto not only burnt it, but he also told guy that he should never wear JUST the jumpsuit. The added clothing not only would reduce the attention brought, but also increase the friction caused BY said jumpsuit. Guy nodded at the sound advice and said he would correct it. Naruto the made Guy swore on everything he held dear to NEVER EVER cause a Genjutsu to occur when hugging someone(11). Naruto shook his head to clear it after he said that because he didn't ever recall seeing one. Hiruzen and Naruto shared a look and 'The God of Shinobi' started to sweat. Shikaku nodded at Naruto, having already agreed upon a system of payment in case Naruto ever pranked him personally.

They each explored the building, Naruto sent a Shadow clone with each of them to give their stuff back discreetly. This also gave Naruto a map of the house they were staying in. Hiruzen stopped each of them before they left the back door, having been here before he said, "Never lose sight of the house. You will never be found again, having died from getting lost and starving. This is not a joke or something to be taken lightly."

They opened the door and stared in awe. Naruto created as many shadow clones as he could(12), once again shocking his new teachers. They streached out, hand to hand, from the house as far as they could go. All but the last one disappeared one by one and then the last one looked around for a little while. He cut a line in front of him with a kunai and watched it disappear. He cut with some of Shishou's chakra made the cut stick. He sat there and watch it for a while, making sure it stuck before dispelling. Naruto looked to Hiruzen and asked, "Is it all right if we don't do anything for today? I want to make a border with my clones and it will take a while. That way we can know how far to go out." At Hiruzens nod, Naruto made ten more clones, each of the clones nodded and went the same distance and made a large cut with Shishou's chakra. Eventually a circle was cut and Naruto came back to the house, visibly winded and laid down on the bed he had previously claimed.

Hiruzen stood up and called his Ninja forward. He set them to writing two lists. The first one consisted of all the skills they planned on teaching Naruto. The second one consisted of the skills they planned on teaching each other. Each list required careful thought as it consisted of Taijutsu, Ninjutsu and Genjutsu. Kenjustu was only to be taught by the swordsman. Hiruzen had thought about it for a while and was going to teach him Bojutsu as well. This training regimen was to take place over the next 3 years. Giving him plenty of time to learn each one and also plenty of time to work out the anger of learning about his mother.

**-Back with Dende and Mr. Popo-**

Dende and Mr. Popo had lead the water clones of the six ninja, Hokage and Naruto to the exit. He said to them, "**You will return here in one and a half hours. Do NOT allow yourself to be followed. If you are, you simply won't be allowed back in and be forced to lose or kill your tracker, depending on who it is.**" The water clones all nodded and went about their buisness or pleasure.

Once they were gone, a ninja that looked like Anbu only with a sign that read "NE" on it said, "Lord Danzo requires your-" He would've said more but Mr. Popo had grabbed him and knocked him unconscious. Dende's hands glowed once more and the seal on his tongue was removed. At a nod from Dende, Mr. Popo tied him to a nearby chair and fed the newly freed nin a truth pill.

After a little while the masked ninja woke up and looked at Dende. He asked, "You have freed me. What do you wish to know?"

Dende, looking slightly dark in his glee of success asked, "**Everything you know about Danzo and his plans.**"

**-Back in THE ROOM-**

All the ninja had finished their lists. The hokage had looked over them to see if he felt anything should be added or taken away. Nodding with satisfaction after making a change or two, He gave them back their lists and let them do whatever they wished. Kakashi and Anko were flirting back and forth. Kurenai and Shikaku were playing shogi. The swordsman had introduced himself by standing up, saying, "My name is Gekkou Hayate." and walking to the bathroom to take a long bath. Hiruzen went to see if Naruto was awake and just resting or had fallen asleep. Guy sat and meditated, waiting for the next day.

All the ninja and even Naruto couldn't wait for the next few years to be over so they could return to their friends, families and fellow ninja. They would be stronger and able to protect more people. They just had to take it one day at a time.

The next morning, Naruto was rudely flipped out of bed and when he sprang up to shout at the one who interrupted his sleep he saw Anko with a water bucket, The Hokage with a towel and Guy and Kakashi each with cleaning clothes over their normal attire, Guy had a gas mask on since Kakashi's doubled as one. From the Hallway Kurenai pinched her nose and said, "Naruto, You stink of sweat and fart. It's time for a bath. You have two options. Take a shower on your own and ACTUALLY clean yourself, or we scrub you down using this small bucket of water. Which is it going to be?"

Naruto, looking like a cat in a corner, smirked and said, "Neither!" Disappearing in a cloud of smoke to reveal he had substituted with a vase in the main room, running out into the open air and getting ready for what was to come.

This was the scene that played once a month for the first year. They would try and get him to bathe only to find out they had been chasing a shadow clone the whole time and watch, with jaws gaping, at Naruto coming out of a bath. Each time they would ask why he led them on the chase and he said, "Because I can and you still haven't thought of asking me to take a BATH!"

This time however, things were different. The Naruto clone noticed no one was chasing him, he dispelled, bringing the Naruto in the bath to realize that they were on to his little game so he proceeded to think about how ELSE he could get them to chase him. It only took him a little while and when the towel was damp and back on the hook, Naruto came out of the bathroom with a pranksters grin.

Over the last year, Naruto and the other Shinobi had trained under Hiruzen for the first quarter of the day, then Naruto would train under one of the shinobi individually each day. During lunch the other shinobi would quiz Naruto on the things they taught him during the other days randomly, making sure what they had taught him had stuck. After lunch, Kakashi and Hiruzen would each take time to teach Naruto how to read and write, how math worked and other school-like subjects. The last part of the day was reserved for Naruto. During the second month he had started disappearing so they just rearranged the schedule to fit it.

This year was different as it was the start of when Dende would take up MOST of Naruto's training day. He was given 4 hours out of the usual twenty-four hours of being awake(13). The other four were split up how the previous year had been, cramped into four hours after dinner. Dende took Naruto off into the expanse, disappearing far beyond where they could be heard and into an area they couldn't even see the boundry line Naruto had created anymore. He took out a house capsule, which he shown Naruto before. Chuckling, he thought back to Naruto's reaction when he first pulled out one on the day he first brought food to replenish their stock.

**-flashback no jutsu-**

"How is that tiny thing supposed to do anything?" Naruto asked while looking at the tiny object Dende held in front of everyone. He picked it up and squinted, bringing it close to his face, "It's as big as my thumb, yet you say it holds enough food to last the next year?" He clicks the device and just holds it there.

In a panic, Dende does something very ungod-like by tackling the youngest one of the group, leaving the rest to stare in confusion as a giant puff of smoke comes from the small device. They slightly tense up as several huge crates are shown when the smoke clears.

Hiruzen, Hatake and Miterashi nods in understanding as they were partially trained in space-time jutsu and this wasn't that different, just mechanical instead of ink and chakra. The rest were eyeing the crates as if they were bombs or worse.

Dende explained things to everyone as soon as he had gotten up and brushed himself off. Comprehension dawned on everyone's face except for Naruto. He was confused as he could be, scrunching up his face in thought as his dad tried to dumb it down a little for him. All he understood was that big stuff could go in little things with chakra. It was then that Dende and Hiruzen realized something was wrong. The Guardian of Earth asked, "**Naruto, what's two added onto two.**"

Naruto shook his head and answered, "I don't know." This infuriated Kakashi who had taught him what math was and Naruto had understood higher levels than that so he went to pound some sense into him but was held back by Anko who saw that Dende was going somewhere with this. He calmed down as Anko whispered this to him. He nodded for Dende to continue.

He asked, "**Don't you remember what Kakashi taught you?**" This earned a shake of Naruto's head and tensed muscles as if he was about to run, "**Calm down Naruto, we just want to know why you don't remember these things.**"

This didn't provide any relief for Naruto who disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving nothing to be seen in his place. Kakashi, who had lifted his head-band at the last second, was astonished at the speed the boy had done that and spoke up, "He just made a shadow clone, substituted with it and then dispelled it all within a second. I think he has had training before us or his mental tutors have been improving his speed. I think someone sealed it away." Hiruzen turned to Dende and said, "Do you think you would be able to get Jiraiya here quick..."

He was cut off by a semi-confused Jiraiya appearing next to him. Hiruzen took him aside and explained everything at which Jiraiya set off with a startled look on his face. Shaking his head, Hiruzen came over and told everyone that Jiraiya had trained him in the sealing arts, but didn't want it to be known and explained it to Naruto. When Naruto had agreed, he had placed a seal over the back of his ear that prevented his knowledge from being used by anyone, even Naruto and it had probably messed up because Naruto had grown since the Toad Sage came back because of the time room.

A Yell and an white-haired blur followed by an yellow one a half-hour later found Naruto standing over Jiraiya with a pissed look on his face shouting, "YOU ALMOST MADE ME DUMB YOU STUPID PERVERT!"

Anko and kurenai immediately leapt in front of Kakashi, who had been about to jump to his mentor's aid, and gave him their patented anti-pervert glare. Normally he would be able to shrug it off, but with them both doing it he withered and gave up. Hiruzen cleared his throat and said, "Now that the theatrics are over, I do believe we should put this food away before it spoils, eh Naruto?"

Nodding, he materialized about a dozen shadow clones seal-lessly and they all got to work immediately. Within minutes they had all the food packed away and were sent off to go do some silent training in seals to get back up to speed.

**-end flashback no jutsu-**

Dende threw the capsule and watched the house pop out. It was a two-story log cabin, hand built that looked semi-old. It was pretty sturdy as it had been built to last against SEVERAL types of disasters. Just in case. He went in, leaving the door ajar for when Naruto got over the initial shock of seeing a house appear out of nowhere which didn't take long. Naruto walked into the house and asked, "Dende-sensei, What's the house for?"

Chuckling, he signals Naruto to come closer. After Naruto complies, he falls unconscious. Dende walks over to Naruto whispering, "**This might hurt so I need you to be out for it.**" Drawing some magic energy to his hand, he places it over the seal, drawing two spirits out of Naruto's belly(14). He then drew them into two seperate doll-like bodies.

When they began to stir, he magically brought rope to them and tied them up. When they began to shout he raised his hands and whispered, "**Please, be quiet. There are some things I must discuss with you before you talk with your son here. I will be asking you to keep your true names from him for the next year. Also I should let you know that while he DOES know he is part saiyan, that part of his memory has been sealed away and will only seal when he hears BOTH of your true names.**"

They both nodded silently and were let go, immediately rushing to their son to hold him. Minato let Kushina hold him longer because he had already spent quality time in Naruto's mind. Naruto slowly woke up and then freaked out when he saw the "strange red-head lady" holding him. He was on the other side of the room until Minato said, "Naruto. This isn't just some strange lady. It's your mother and..." He was cut off by Naruto once again showing off his suprising change of emotion in a flying tackle-hug to both of them. He was crying.

Dende walked into the kitchen to prepare a light snack(15) and allow them to talk amongst themselves in private. They asked each other questions, shared stories and even a few bruises about everything they could think of for a little while until three simultaneous stomachs growled at the same time. The guardian of earth entered the room three times, two shadow clones following him. All three were carrying a tray full of different types of food. Each hungry person was given on tray and told to dig in.

Within minutes the food was gone and hunger was saited, before a new round of laughter occurred at an impromptu belching session. After the gas bubbles died down, Dende interrupted the family moment gently by saying, "**I will allow Naruto to be trained by both of you on the condition that he send a Shadow clone to create another one thousand clone boundry line. Trust me it won't intersect with the other line, we are too far away.**"

Nodding, Naruto sent a clone to do just that and they all got to work, stretching and warming up first. Afterwards Minato took a group of four hundred clones to work on higher seal levels and wind chakra. Kushina took six hundred to work on chakra chains, bjuu chakra and certian uzumaki-only chakra control practices that could help his jutsu be mastered easier and become more potent.

Dende kept the original and said, "**You and I will be sparing and, before you say ANYTHING, know that I am MUCH more limber than you think for an 'old man' as you would say. I did help your father train for a little while ya know...**"

Naruto's jaw was slack once again as Dende took the time to stretch. Dende then, without warning, appeared behind Naruto shouting, "**DODGE!**"(16) causing Naruto to panic and get hit in the head, flying to the boundry line that had just been finished and hit the clone, dispelling it. He barely got up before Dende was behind him again, "**DODGE!**" Once again he was sent flying, only this time he hit the house and slid down cartoon like. He stood up and moved his head to the side causing Dende to miss.

After seeing Naruto move and smirk Dende smiled evilly and said, "**Not bad, BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH!**" Proceeding to beat Naruto up badly. Naruto was soon unconscious and Dende caught him, flowing magic into Naruto's head so that his clones would not be dispelled. After healing him slightly so as to not cause a concussion, he laid him down and waited for the young man to wake up

.

**-Meanwhile with the former NE agent-**

After telling him everything he had seen and heard, the former agent asked, "I know that you fed me a truth pill, but it was unnecessary as I was only part of Danzo's regime due to him telling me that my brother died in an accident. I found out that he had reprogrammed my brother to not remember me until he was told his name and even then only as an memory and not what we had planned to do. I also was told that he was to kill me as a final test in order to EARN that name. I was given the seal once I was informed."

Dende's clone(17) nodded and said, "Would you like to get back at Danzo and help me at the same time?" Earning a nod he continued, "I will give you a FAKE seal and within said seal will be a listening device. You don't need your mouth open for it to work and it will be unable to be detected even if said fake seal is removed. I will also have it teleport you here upon your 'disposal' and cause your brother to be told who you both are, given instructions about how he is to act normally and told to take your place until he is given his 'name'.

Said spy nodded and said, "I accept this. I assume you will allow me to see my brother once we have enough information to take the old bastard down?"

Dende nodded, saying, "**Technically we already have enough info, however...**" He raised his hand for the spy to wait a moment, allowing another NE to come into the light having just arrived, "**He knows this and has a way of escape planned that I need to know about, isn't that right agent breast?**"

Nodding, then NE agent removed her mask and bowed. She was wearing a formal chinese martial arts uniform and had her black hair tied back into buns. Her height came to a close after about a third of a ruler past five feet and was fairly skinny for her young age(18). When she rose back up she winked at the tied up agent and said, "What, did you think you had killed me? Dende here was my first target and freed me much the same way he freed you, although he had to fight me first."

Sighing in newfound relief, the new agent nodded once again and said, "Alright. I will be your spy if SHE can come back from the dead. You'll be able to save me if you could save her. Shall we get to the plan?"

Dende nodded and set him free. Beckoning him to another room where they all sat at a table, planning what info was needed and how to go about getting it. Mr. Popo left the hallway to go about his duties since he wasn't needed at the moment.

**-Back in the Time Room-**

Hiruzen, Kakashi and Gai and Shikaku were all locked in a deadly struggle. One blink from either of them and it would mean instant failure. One wrong twitch and they would all lose. Guy sneezed, Kakashi belched, Shikaku farted and Hiruzen laughed. Anko and Kurenai chuckled as Gekkou had rolled his eyes and walked away. The other four who had failed in the dare set to them got up, walked over to the girls and bowed several times, saying, "We are not worthy" over and over dispassionately.

Anko rose up, taking it all in and dramatically shouted, "YES! BOW TO ME! I AM YOUR QUEEN!" Then she sat down laughing and eventually fell off the chair.

Kurenai just blushed, thinking shameful thoughts and also wondering how four jounin level or higher shinobi could fail so horribly at a staring contest. Jiraya was sitting in a corner, bruised and bloodied after what he had done to Naruto sunk in to Kakashi and Anko. One beating him half to death out of righteous sister oriented fury and the other out of half-teacher and half-brother fury. He had yet to ask, but he considered Naruto to be like a little brother to him as his sensei and also been a father-like figure in place of his real father.

They had all agreed to the dare as a means to test thier mettle as shinobi after Anko suggested that it was a greater challenge than Gai and Kakashi were normally attempting. Kurenai was the one who suggest that the other three conscious males should join in and that whomever blinked first who have to bow to both the women saying that they weren't worthy. Gekkou refused silently and when asked for an explination glared at Anko with a look at told her to drop it or else. She backed down knowing what he was getting at.

The four shinobi had managed to stare at their "partner" for three hours until said loss. They then began to, after their punishment was over, think of other things to do since today was their break day.

**AN: Well folks, I hope you like chapter two of The rewrite. I plan to be making them all as close to 10k as possible. This will probably take a long time, but if you all review or I were to get a beta I would be more active in this project. Just a little bit every day would be all I need to write. I could get it done bi-monthly. Sadly, no reviews and no beta make me sad and not want to wri...**

**Just kidding. I have other things making me sad, but hopefully I'll be writing more often. Have a good day :) (Third Fang who is AWESOME! Seriously... READ HIS STORY "**_**Yet again, with a little extra help"**_** It's amazing. It's also complete and a sequel is up!)**

**Ja Ne!**

**(1) I think that this will be better... maybe you dont. Well then don't read the story or ignore it, eh?**

**(2)He always seemed like he didn't have enough to do, plus with all the potential violence against Naruto it seems like he would have some diplomacy skills**

**(3)If you don't know who this is... you don't know naruto that well... GO READ THE MANGA!**

**(4)Do I really have to explain further? I'll give you a cookie if you know who this is... a slap on the wrist if you don't.**

**(5)A plate of cookies if you can guess who this is... mwahahahahahaaaa**

**(6)Yes, this is in fact THE Dende... He's old because it's been a LONG time since Dragon ball GT... and its my "world" so deal.**

**(7) Naruto will help Guy with his fashion sense and therefore lee won't copying the bad version(*bows*)**

**(8)They didn't see him bow to his dad... so he hadn't done it before lol...**

**(9)Dende will grant him the ability to have 5 summon contracts, He may only use one a day, but it's still more than most can use... Go ahead and whine if you don't like this, but it's my story so you'll either have to ignore it or stop reading**

**(10)No, Kurenai isn't in the harem(she may end up that way), but this was just cherry-popping and how to please a lady(yes that does mean they will have sex) so he has some experience under his belt)**

**(11)You're welcome readers! HAHAHA! :P**

**(12) This is undetermined at this time, just know its at least 1000...for now**

**(13): The days in the time room are 36 hours long instead of 24. This does NOT affect how old they will be as their bodies are adapted to this time frame upon entering.**

**(14): Yes this is Minato and Kushina, no it doesn't mess with the seal... I can't tell you why just yet.**

**(15): Naruto, Minato and Kushina are ALL famed(in my story) for their huge appetites, so a light snack is a 2-course meal.**

**(16): Taken from DBZ Abridged. It's FUNNY! WATCH IT! (WHILE DODGING!)**

**(17): His clone is really just Kami in a Dende-clone body. Don't ask because I won't explain it.**

**(18): If you don't know who this is, you don't know dbz *chuckles* Whoever knows this gets an e-cookie!**


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